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Well.....

I'm back in the UK now. My time in Spain ended prematurely, a brief chapter in life which, after a lot of thought, I chose to end. It wasn't a decision taken lightly, but given the circumstances I knew it was the right decision. It was also a painful decision, because it creates the perception that I am a quitter. But in my mind, and to those who know me well, I hate quitting and would never give up so easily.

Let me be clear in saying that I don't regret the whole Spain experience. I learned a new language and experienced a different culture and lifestyle. I enjoyed the food there and developed many new favourites, such as paella and the various tapas dishes. I had the chance to live in Spain for three months, something I never dreamed of when I first came to the UK. I worked with a great team of people, probably one of the best I've worked with. It was pretty gut-wrenching to let them know my final decision; I felt that I let the team down and I didn't want to give the impression that I didn't enjoy working with them.

So why did I decide to throw in the towel?

One of the things I struggled with was the fact that I wanted to stay in the UK long term. When I was first asked to go to Spain I was very reluctant to leave the UK. It was only when I had a second talk with the manager that the work situation at the time was grim. This basically convinced me that I had to go. I slowly accepted it and, with the blessing of a few good people, I attempted to make Spain my new home.

Relocation is never easy. And I'm afraid that the stress of relocation got the better of me here. One thing I didn't mention earlier was the visa I needed to remain in Spain for work purposes. Obtaining a visa is a complicated process; I've been through the process before when trying to get a visa to live in the UK.

However it seems that the Spanish visa is 10 times more complicated and involved than any other process I've been through. To make things worse, I was already in Spain trying to organise my own application. The entire situation was just poorly handled and had the word "dodgy" written all over it. So it was no surprise to me that when I turned up at the Spanish consulate for my appointment, they advised me bluntly that I had insufficient documentation.

I was livid and fuming. It took me three months to arrange everything for this appointment, and to be declined on the spot was a massive blow. I was left to pick up the pieces and start all over again. The worst thing was that since I was in Spain during this trying period, I had nearly used up all my 90 days and I was not allowed to remain in the country any longer until I had a visa granted to me. It felt like I had wasted my days away in Spain injudiciously.

When I told my manager about my latest setback, he had an interesting proposition. Return to the UK. I was all ears. There was new work in the UK and they could use some extra hands and heads. It was all very tempting. But I immediately thought about the team in Spain, the relationship I had built with the team, and what I had worked hard towards. What was I going to say to them? How would they react? Who would replace me at this crucial time?

After a few days of thinking, I realised that I had to ask myself what was important to me. And I believed that I'd be better off living in the UK. Everything I had, from my bank account to my doctor, was based in the UK. It would be easier for me to access vital services in the UK because I don't have a language barrier to deal with. Learning Spanish is very important if you need to live there, but to be completely honest I never intended to learn Spanish, and to do so would require me to devote time to studying the language. I just wasn't prepared to do this. The best I could do was to listen to educational podcasts, but that can only take you so far. Plus I had already made a commitment to my running, and I wasn't prepared to cut back my running for the sake of learning a language.

Running is a part of my life. I believe that as a runner, I would be better off in the UK. I'd look after myself better as a runner, I'd have more places to run, and I can get to the events I am doing more easily from the UK than from Spain. Running is very important to me and to get the most out of it I think living in the UK would help.

So now, I'm back in the UK, and I'm trying to settle in again. Packing up and moving is very painful and it's something I hope I don't repeat again very soon. At the moment I'm staying in an apartment in Newbury, which is around 20 minutes by train to Reading, the town I used to live in before I moved. Ideally I want to live in Reading again. I only hope to find a place as good, if not better, as the one I shared with Tina, my former housemate and now good friend. I hope to see her again someday.

So now it's a new chapter all together. Around a year ago, I was struggling with whether I should move to Spain or stay in the UK. In the end I listened to my head and moved to Spain. Unfortunately it didn't last as long as I had hoped, and now I'm back where I left off previously. I'm not going to say that I should have followed my heart as that would have denied me the privilege of going to Spain and experiencing new things.

But it's interesting to see who prevailed in the end.